On Fake Diet, Thursday Edition

How do I diet? Or un-diet? Let me count the ways.

For breakfast: 1/2 cup rice, three pieces of tocino (sweetened cured pork) and sunny side up, two pieces of suman sprinkled with brown sugar and brewed coffee

In-between: 3 pieces of Fita spicy tuna crackers

Lunch: thick & tender chops, java rice and pizza fries from Greenwich

Dinner: taco salad, sweetened bananas, 4 pieces of siomai and sago gulaman

When will I get serious with diet? Quando, quando, quando.

Thirsty Thursday

I thirst for countless things today. I have this seemingly crazy idea that I should be able to do/accomplish them before 2010 ends. And, right now, I don't think I can be as unfailingly patient as before. So, the following are mandatory:

1) Finish my travel plan for Vietnam. This has been very, very difficult for me since I have to adjust to my trip companions' quirks. Or I'm just making a big deal out of it? I simply do not know. It was way too exciting at first when I drafted my initial plan but halfway through it, I literally gave up! Something's wrong with me, for sure. All the hype went to nowhere. So I must summon all my mental energy just to get hyped up once again. Help!

2) Go to Sonya's Garden in Tagaytay. I may not go gaga over fresh garden salads but the laid-back idea of experiencing nature excites me. The cool breeze of Tagaytay is just a bonus. Or wait, maybe that's the biggest factor. I need to escape the metro's crazy weather. Rain, shine, rain, shine, ugh. The cycle is on the verge of lunacy, enough to make me crazy.

3) Have a serious foot spa AND body massage/body scrub. I need to pamper myself. I know my savings will be corrupted but I have to splurge once and for all for my sanity. I need the peace and quiet to converge totally with every pores of my body.

4) Cook an extremely delicious pasta. I need to don my imaginary chef's hat to whip up that extraordinary pasta. With wine and bread. And pretend I'm in one of those picturesque places in Italy. Who will be the judges with regard to the taste? Mi familia.

5) Hit the beach. But definitely no island-hopping or boat rides. I fear the deep, blue sea.

6) Splurge on a dinner buffet. This entails a lot of discipline. I must unload all the greasy fat seating in my tummy. Soooooooooooon!

My brain suddenly froze when I was about to type number 7. This is a doable list. If all these won't be accomplished, then my last quarter is an epic fail. Nooooooooooooooo, universe, nooooooooo!

Central Memories Part 2

Dinalaw na naman ako ng antok dito sa opisina. Upang hindi tuluyang antukin, sinubukan kong mag-isip ng mga bagay na maaaring gumising sa aking natutulog na diwa. Tutal naman naumpisahan na din ang pagbabalik-tanaw sa kabataan, atin na lang ipagpatuloy ang Central Memories.

Noong Grade 1 ako, napansin ko na kakaunti ang mga mapuputi sa classroom namin. Kung ikukumpara ang kulay ng balat ko noon sa ngayon, di hamak na mas maputi na ako ngayon. Pero sigurado ako na hindi ako maitim at hindi din naman ako sobrang puti. Fair complexion, ika nga. Hindi ko masyadong binigyang pansin ang kahalagahan ng pagiging maputi or hindi noon. Paki ko, basta ako, ayaw ko ng maputing gatas! Wow, paki-connect nga. I mean, ayaw ko ng gatas na pure. Mas gusto ko ay 'yong gatas na may halong Milo or Ovaltine. Sige na nga, milk chocolate!

Nung college na 'ko, saka ko naisipan na tingnan muli ang mga class pictures ko nung elementary. Una kong napansin sa Grade 1 class pic ay kung gaano ako kaputi noon. Nagulat ako. Sunod kong tiningnan ay kung sino-sino pa ang mga matatawag na mapuputi. Bukod sa sarili ko, may tatlo pa. Hindi ko na maalala mga full names nila kasi naman antagal na. Duh, 1987.

Yung isa, lalake. Naalala ko na anak siya ng may-ari ng parlor sa may Velez Street. Nakakatuwa dahil nalaman ko ito nung minsang sumama ako kay Mama sa parlor nila upang siya'y magpagupit. Mahilig kasi si Mama magpagupit ng buhok. Hahaba lang ng ilang sentimetro ay magpapagupit na. Therapy niya daw 'yon.

Yung pangalawang maputi, may lahing Intsik. Surname niya ay Go kaya sa tuwing siya ay susunduin ng kanyang tatay tuwing uwian, nagkakantyawan kami ng "Go, ****, go!" Ibig sabihin, bilisan niya ang pagtakbo sa gate kung saan inaantay siya.

Yung pangatlo, kapangalan ko pa. Si Apple Jade. Mukha siyang batang laging may rasyon na labada. Lagi kasing nakataas ang buhok ng isang malaking clip na parang maglalaba lang sa batis. Maganda pa naman at maamo ang mukha. Tuwing tinitingnan ko ang aming class pic, para bang may palo-palo na nakatago sa kanyang likuran. 

Nakakatuwa palang magbalik-tanaw tungkol sa kulay ng balat. Nawala tuloy antok ko.

Central Memories Part 1

Kanina ako'y naupo sa paminggalan dito sa opisina at nakinig sa iba't ibang istorya ng buhay.

Bigla ko tuloy naalala ang aking kabataan at ang mga taong nagpasaya nito.

Naalala ko, higit sa lahat, ang aking mga kaklase/kabarkadang ubod ng kulit at galing. Ang tawag sa aming grupo ay "7 stars". Sino ba naman ang makakalimot sa mga 'yon? Parang kelan lang na merong pitong bata na pinagtagpo-tagpo sa primera klaseng mababang paaralan ng aming syudad.

Noon, hindi ko naisip na malaki pala ang agwat ng isang taga-public school sa isang taga-private school. Siguro dahil masaya at kumpleto naman ang aking mga gamit sa eskwela at meron akong baon. Hindi ko kailangang manghingi ng papel o manghiram ng lapis sa katabi kasi nga madami akong ganoon. Pero napansin ko na mas maputi ang medyas ng mga taga-private school kesa sa public school. Ano ba yan? Medyas pa napansin ko. At syempre pa, mas makintab at hindi maputik ang sapatos ng mga taga-private. Siguro dahil na rin sa katotohanang marami sa public school ang galing sa mahihirap na lugar sa siyudad.

Naalala ko tuloy ang kwento ng Mama ko nung Grade 1 ako. Sa pagkakaalam ko, may labinlimang seksyon sa Grade 1. At isa ako sa mapalad na nakaakyat sa stage para tumanggap ng gold medal. Syempre sikat ka pag may gold medal noong araw. Kinabukasan, pagkagaling nila Mama at Papa sa palengke, sabi ng Mama ko, binati siya nung suki niya ng isda sa palengke. Ang galing pala ng anak mo,  nakatanggap ng gold! [Wow! Sana pwedeng isanla 'no?] Nakita kasi nung tindera na umakyat si Papa sa stage para sabitan ako ng medal. Nagkataon din na ang anak niya pala ay isa din sa pinarangalan sa mataas na baitang naman.

Tuwing naalala ko yun, masaya ako. Hindi lang pala sa opisina napupuri ang Mama at Papa ko na may anak sila na honor student, kundi pati din pala sa palengke. Napagtanto ko na doon nagsimula ang salitang "pressure" sa aking buhay.

N.B. This series shall be called "Central Memories". I went to City Central School in elementary and I believe the place contributed a much bigger part of me and who I am today. Names of persons shall be withheld, if need be, so as not to cause undue embarrassment and injury to them.

Shoooo Rain!

Every year in Metro Manila, a super typhoon happens. For more than a week already, Mr. Sun has been elusive. Then SAD or its tropical counterpart kicks in and I don't like it.

Now, what to do? Bookstore, food trip or have a date with the boyfriend? Yey! I'm getting excited. Bye for now.

Omigosh! I'm 30!

I am now officially 30!

I can't thank God enough for giving me another year to enjoy this maze-like adventure called life.

My gratitude overflows when I think of my parents. They did a good job in raising me. I practically owe them my life and I will forever sing praises of their unconditional love and sacrifces. When I started earning my keep, I appreciate them more than ever. I know it's not easy having five (5) children, feeding them with the most nutritious, if not delicious, meals, sending them to school and all. More so, on my part, they even spent additional bucks for me to finish law school. I can go on and on and on with incredible and amazing things that happened to my life because of my parents but this is supposed to be a short post. With their constant guidance and a little verbal spanking once in a while, I couldn't complain anymore. One of my birthday wishes is for my parents to have a long and healthy life. And the realization of a simple, modest house in their retirement piece of earth in Bohol. Fresh air, sea breeze, fresh seafoods, fruit-bearing trees, lots of pet cats in the backyard or perhaps one big dog, that senior citizen sort of happiness and fulfillment.

I'm now 30. That fact starts sinking in while I'm writing this and not thinking much. Just a short piece of appreciation and typing what comes to my mind... word after word, like a creative Tourette's.

So, here I am, waiting for the man (oh yes I've met him already and he's mine and mine alone) and spend my birthday with no definite plans. Hahaha! Last night, I thought of whipping up a good pasta but I suddenly remember that the man (who sometimes acts and feels like a first grader) is not a big fan of Italian fare. Okay. So allow me to thank him - the man - for making me happy since May 19, 2009 or two weeks prior to that date. Fast forward to June 24, 2009 when I truly made a vow to myself and the universe that this is it. The angels of love must have heard my constant wish ever since I became aware of romantic love. The angels gifted me with a wonderful man, someone who will be with me and hold my hands as I traverse the challenging trails of life and grow old with. Did I just say that?! Hahaha! From the deepest caverns of my heart, I thank you. I pray that we will always hold hands through thick and thin. Mushiness be damned. 

Of course, to the four people (make it five to include the nephew) whom I share my genes with (a.k.a. siblings), I wish you all the success. I'm the firstborn so I know by heart what their capabilities are and I can genuinely say they will make it. Nobody promised us that life is an easy breeze, so be strong. Be the own captains of your ships and souls and be the most dedicated Florence Nightingale(s) ever with, of course, prosperous lives! 

Thank you, Lord. I see no need to enumerate all my wishes since You know them already. They are mostly unselfish so I will not doubt anymore. I can make it.

Plump Red Tomatoes

I was firm on ignoring my hunger pangs. Then I saw the plump red tomatoes in our Lazy Susan. I thought I could stay strong and firm to stick to my zero-dinner habit.

I crossed out the possibility of ulcer. I'm 101% freakin' certain about it.

Plump red tomatoes.

I'm now 101% full because of those plump red tomatoes. I reheated some spoonfuls of rice, tender chunks of pork adobo and, yes, two plump red tomatoes in the oven. 

Plump. Red. Tomatoes.

I'm now plump, according to the boy. God, he's got a poor vision.

Blast those plump red tomatoes. Blasted plan. Bloody red tomatoes. Bloody plan. Blast the Brit inside me speaking. Blame Chris Egan a.k.a. Chris Wyman in Letters to Juliet. I'd volunteer to roam Siena and look for Lorenzo Bartolini just so I could flirt with hunk Charlie. Lucky fact checker/hopeless romantic Sophie. Never mind the Rotten Tomatoes rating. 

I've been told that incoherence is a liability. A major one. So I'll stop. Good night, plump red tomatoes. Enjoy basking in the present calmness of Lady, er, Lazy Susan.

Smug

I describe my mood today as smug. Or giddy. 

I specifically googled for the meaning of smug and here it is:

smug adj.  Exhibiting or feeling great or offensive satisfaction with oneself or with one's situation; self-righteously complacent: "the smug look of a toad breakfasting on fat marsh flies" (William Pearson).

And here comes the telling part. Why smug? Why, of all the adjectives known to man, stupid or not. I promised myself once upon a time that I should never rest on my laurels. Thinking about it right now makes me feel awkward. For a nano-second, that is. So why smug? It's very complicated. It has something to do with my forthcoming birthday. Next week, I'll be celebrating my 30th year on earth. 

I have resolved that I will not rush things. I shall enjoy life and enjoy what it brings to me on a daily basis. I shall gladly embrace every pitfalls and learn from them. No critical errors, no alarming faults, no regrets to think of. None of those. 

When I try to look back, somewhat year 2000-ish, I'd say I have evolved. In a much critical way, I don't want my old self back. I like myself more now. What I am today is a totally different individual compared to my 20-year-old self. My close friends and family can attest to this fact. And that alone makes me feel smug. Or giddy.

Not so telling? I'll elaborate on this next time. Emotions can be very erratic. I may not be as smug as I am today on the day I want to elaborate.
 

Worry No More

I hate negativity. I tend to ward off people who often grumble about life or badmouth other people. Was it planting bad seed? That negative act is really downright unfair. I could go on rambling but I'd rather not waste my time over small-minded people. Pffft.

On a lighter note, I feel that the universe has something good to offer me in the succeeding months. Whatever it/they is/are, my eyes and hands are wide open for blessings. Let's worry no more.

Akap by Imago

The first song that pops out when I hit shuffle.

A line goes - bakit mahirap sumabay sa agos? 

These are my thoughts:

1) This is one of my emo songs way, way back. I had a huge crush on this guy and we had intelligent conversations every night. Conversations that would boil down to one thing - who can outwit who? The thought made me smile. I had goosebumps in my nape. Damn stupid things when a woman is in love. A thick book in my lap, a potential stiff neck, pink and neon green highlighters running out of ink. Oh. My. All together now: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!  Those were the days.

2) The voice behind this emo song is Aia de Leon. I saw her circa 2006 in a hippie-filled, bohemian-inspired bar in Malate. Forgot the name. Was it Penguin? I certainly couldn't remember now. A friend even asked me to take a pic of her and Aia. Idol thingie.

3) Love the MTV of this song. What has gotten to me? I used to curse that I was too immature for love back then. Now, all those things are simply wonderful. I can say, "Yes, I did that." BTDT.

The baby is here!

What is so significant about today? Today is the birth of "Undefined Inkblots", my new baby. As my new baby, I'll nurture her with all my heart and soul.

The baby is here! I will tell her all my daily adventures, blunders included, so that she may learn from them and may never repeat them again in the forthcoming days.

My baby and I will be closely intertwined. She will know my fears, my secrets and anything worth blogging.

She will be my one and only ally in the virtual world.

My precious "Undefined Inkblots", reach out your virtual hand and cling to Mademoiselle Jah-jah. So hush now and let's sleep.